How well do TV funnymen Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse know each other? There's only one way to find out: with a revival of gameshow classic Mr & Mrs
HARRY ON PAUL
1. Paul had posters of which two football teams as a child?
"Spurs. Not Arsenal. He hates them. I've never visited his bedroom; I did when we shared a flat. I was a milkman in Finsbury Park in my university holidays. I'd leave at 5.30am and race to get back before he went to work. He would always be there ironing his Hawaiian shirts."
[½ POINT – HE HAD EVERTON, TOO]
2. What was Paul's punk band with Charlie Higson [later of the Higsons] called when they were at the University of East Anglia?
"The Right Hand Lovers. They were shit. Paul was a wastrel, really. He thought university was one big pharmaceutical playground so he dropped out and went to work for Hackney council."
[CORRECT]
3. Which comedians' house did Paul plaster?
"Stephen [Fry] and Hugh [Laurie]. I got him the job. I'd do [comic kebab seller] Stavros on Saturday Live and say, 'I nicked it off my mate, he's a painter and decorator.' And they'd go, 'He's so humble.' They needed some decorating done, so I said, 'My mate Paul who's a better Stavros than me will do it.' The next time, Stephen and Hugh looked at me as if I was a complete wanker."
[CORRECT]
4. Complete the following Fast Show sketch as quoted by Ted (Paul) to Ralph (Charlie Higson) in the pub. "Tomato – Ted – aubergine – your – potato – wife's – turnip …"
"I can't."
It's "dead"!
"Of course."
Were you annoyed that The Fast Show stole your idea?
"They took everything I thought was shit and wouldn't do on my show. Suits You, Sir they did relentlessly. I'd go, 'I don't understand it. Fuck off!' I also said, 'Charlie, you can't act, you can't be in it.' I didn't mind until they won a Bafta against me."
[WRONG]
5. How did Rowley Birkin QC excuse his actions?
"He was very, very drunk. I like catchphrases 'cos everyone can do them in the playground. After Ricky Gervais came along with his clever humour, I thought, 'That's the end of me.'" [Correct]
6. What did you have to do win a prize from Hula Hoops as explained by The Self-Righteous Brothers in 1996?
"Ring a number?"
No, it was find a square Hula Hoop
"Hula Hoops are ROUND, they'll stay round, and they'll be around for ever! No points for me."
[WRONG]
7. What was the name of the bear that Paul's character did the voiceover for in 2002's Happiness?
"Humphrey?"
Nope, Dexter
"Paul basically plays Jack Dee in what ever Jack Dee's programme is called. What's it called?"
[LEAD BALLOON. NO POINTS FOR KNOWING THAT. WRONG]
8. Who introduced Smashie & Nicey's guest spot on Radio 2's Pick Of The Pops 40th birthday celebrations in 2007, and why was it ironic?
"Dale Winton. Why's that ironic? Oh yes. Nicey came out as gay. We tried to make Dale come out on air, too. I suppose me and Paul will be remembered for Smashie & Nicey. Or the Old Gits. Paul's turned into one of them already."
[CORRECT]
9. Describe three of the six characters Paul has played on the Aviva adverts
"There's the Plymouth Argyle one. The Hippy. And one of Paul's posh, old blokes."
[CORRECT: HE COULD ALSO HAVE HADDAMIEN THE HAIRDRESSER, REECE THE WELSH GOTH, AND BOB THE SILVER SURFER]
10. Which "Beedle" does Paul play in the new series of Harry & Paul?
"Jeremy Beadle! No. George Harrison. We thought, 'Wouldn't it be nice if the Beatles had never taken any drugs and were still alive?' They're mop-tops with grey hair. I came up with one joke. [Does impression] 'What's that, George?' 'It's my iCod.' He's got a fish in his hand. 'What's an iCod?' 'It's a portable fish.' It's just shitty jokes like that".
[CORRECT]
SCORE 6½/10 "I'd give our relationship about 4/10, it's as rocky as ever. So 6½ out of 10 isn't bad. You were very strict with the football question. I don't mind if I'm last. It's like the Baftas all over again."
PAUL ON HARRY
1 When is Harry's birthday?
"The 29th of May."
30 May, 1961. Shouldn't couples remember each other's birthdays?
"We're like a couple of swingers in that we don't mind going off and having comedy sex with other people as long as it's not too successful. Unfortunately for Harry, I usually am."
[WRONG]
2. What was Harry's previous job?
"Milkman. He slept on my floor. He came around one day and went [does pathetic voice], 'Can I sleep on your floor?' I reluctantly let him in. But, to his credit, he worked his way into his own flat."
[CORRECT]
3. Complete the lyrics to Loadsamoney's 1988 hit single, Loadsamoney (Doin' Up The House). "Doing up the house is me bread and butter …"
"Gawd almighty! 'Me bird's Page Three and me car's a nutter.'"
[CORRECT]
How did you feel when Harry found fame on Saturday Live with characters you'd co-created: Stavros, Loadsamoney, Tory Boy etc?
"I thought, 'Fair enough', and watched a little bit of him die every day. He always gave me a name-check when most performers would mention their writers in the same sentence as a rapist. Then I got famous and sold my own soul many times over."
[CORRECT]
4. Who was Harry's character in the original Men Behaving Badly?
"That was on ITV and Harry did an approximation of acting. Gary?"
No, he was Dermot. Ever tried to write a sitcom?
"Er, we think about it, then we realise we're not capable, and we stick to paper-thin characters with catchphrases. We were all about catchphrases. Then came the Gervais approach, David Brent would openly mock catchphrase humour by saying it was brilliant. Fortunately, Little Britain made it popular again."
[WRONG]
5. What new characters featured on the Channel 4 documentary, Harry Enfield's Guide To Opera?
"We did a dad and a son, a bit like Lee and Lance, who were fruit and veg men and proletarians in the world of opera. And we did a couple of Brian Sewell-like opera lovers with a cat called Callas."
[CORRECT: THE OPERA PONCES, AND THE FRUIT AND VEG PORTERS]
6. Who did Harry play in Star Stories: Take That?
"Oh god. Their manager?"
No, it was Elvis Costello
"They should have given that job to me."
[WRONG]
7. Under what alias is Harry credited in Kevin And Perry Go Large?
"Obviously as Harry as Kevin. And …?"
It was Henry R Enfield GCE for playing The Executioner
"I didn't know that."
Do you get to call him Henry?
"No. But then Prince Harry is a Henry, isn't he?" [Wrong]
8. What did Harry prefer to Dime Bars in the 1996 advert?
"Gawd blimey. Cheesy Wotsits? Children?"
No, armadillos, because they're smooth on the inside and crunchy on the outside
"I'm always offered advert work and Harry gets more jealous by the day. I accepted the Aviva ads because I was able to do lots of different characters."
[WRONG]
9. Whose dad does Harry play in Skins?
"No idea. I saw it once and thought, 'This is not for me. This is for the young. I'll leave them to it.'"
It's Tony and Effy's. Does serious acting appeal to you?
"Harry brings a sort of panto sensibility to it, he's hardly serious. He's like Ray Winstone meets Kermit the Frog. I suppose we were trying to be a bit serious on Bellamy's People. [Wrong]
10. What car did Harry buy after hitting the big time, as revealed on his Top Gear appearance?
"It was some kind of Vauxhall Cabriolet GTR."
Yes, a Vauxhall Cavalier convertible. Did he give you lifts?
"He cut me up in it on the way back from some writing. Now he goes, 'Fucking hell, I hate that sort of behaviour.' I'm like, 'Well, you fancied yourself as a bit of a boy racer at one point, Harry.'"
[CORRECT]
SCORE 5/10 "Ten would be worrying, 2/10 and we're showbiz pals who only come together for the money. We're like an old couple who divorced but remain close friends, like an older, crustier version of Chantelle and Preston but with less hair."
